[Intro: Ricepirate]
My fellow Americans—and to a lesser extent, the rest of the world—Uncle Sam here, and when I'm not out scoring some wicked hot slash or stealing your hard-earned money for God knows what, I'm at home, scoring some wicked hot slash, and listening to sick-ass Hip-Hop—here's one of my faves. Just make sure you've got your checkbook handy. Now bust it, nigga

[Verse 1: Stamper]
I woke up today feeling flawless, it's obvious
Got a really good day ahead, gonna do my taxes (It's the law, kid)
Got a bowl of cereal, laid out some envelopes, some documents
And you know, I had some Honey Nut Cheerios
I got a theory though—a hypothesis
I don't really gotta do my taxes, right? I could dodge it—psych
I'm conscious of the consequences
And more than happy to contribute and pay my dues to a bottomless deficit, check it
I got my brand new W-2
And it's due sooner than later, so lemme tell ya what you do
You get your business receipts laid out and (Add 'em up)
Get your business receipts added up and (Write 'em off, nigga)
That's it, dawg, gotta stack them zeroes
Inflate that refund, inflate that ego (Hahaha), my negro
And yo, my Honey Nut Cheerios?
I wrote it off as a Honey Nut business meal (Yo)

[Chorus: Stamper]
Bringing truth from the booth, playa, what you gon' do?
Get your W-2 and throw it up (Throw it up)
I did my taxes, baby (Alright)
And to celebrate I'm gonna jack off in the bathtub
Filed and all done, federal, local and state (Deal)
Fat refund coming my way, and yo
When I'm jacking in the bath I'm gonna bend my wiener up as I'm cumming so I can shoot it in my face

[Verse 2: Marc M. & Egoraptor]
Damn, I better do my taxes
Roll a W-2, and pass it
Smoke it down to a pile of ashes
Man, fuck all that "math" shit
My story ends the same way it begins:
I refuse to do my taxes again
I went to H&R Block with a raging hard cock
Slammed it on the desk and said, "Suck" (Ego)

[Verse 3: Egoraptor & Stamper]
I ain't at a loss to figure out how I'm at a loss
I got instructions to file my deductions, I ain't no CPA, no way
Nigga, I'm a fuckin' deductin' master, e-file disaster
Gotta file 'em faster, the fifthteenth is the pastor preaching
"The end of days" (That's right)—that's right, I got a raise
Now I gotta phrase all the fucking ways my pay's appraised
So I'm flipping and flipping through fucking tabs of dumb bullshit
And I didn't notice since I moved my state has taxes just for living (What?), fuck that shit
My wallet's got moths flying out like Chinese New Year
Don't I pay enough tax at my TJ Maxx when I swipe my card at the cashier?
Oh shit, I just forgot, my stocks in Microsoft been sending me checks
Fuck, this shit is getting too complex
Ring-a-ding-ding (Brr), ring-a-ding-ding (Brr), "Hello?"
Sorry, can I talk to Mr. Goldstein? ("No")
"Could the time you left to file be any shorter?" (I know but—)
"Don't you know you gotta make an estimated payment every quarter?"

[Chorus: Stamper]
Bringing truth from the booth, playa, what you gon' do?
Get your W-2 and throw it up (Throw it up)
I did my taxes, baby (Alright)
And to celebrate I'm gonna jack off in the bathtub
Filed and all done, federal, local and state (Deal)
Fat refund coming my way, and yo
When I'm jacking in the bath I'm gonna bend my wiener up as I'm cumming so I can shoot it in my face

[Breakdown: Stamper]
Truth from the booth, playa, what you gon' do—do?
Throw it up (Throw it up, throw it up)
I did my taxes, baby
And to celebrate I'm gonna jack off—off—off
Filed and all done, all done—done
Fat refund, fat—fat refund
Fat, fat, fa—fa—fat, fat refund
Fat refund, fat, fat wiener

[Verse 3: Stamper]
I'm confident in Congress
Pour me shots of tax until I vomit
Aw, my Uncle Sam needs money? I'm on it (Bitch)
Raise my tax and I'ma yawn, and here, take my wallet
It's the least I could pay, living in the U.S.A. is a Goddamn privilege
Even though most dudes I know are jobless and struggling and hopeless
With a broken promise from college that put 'em in debt to the neck where the rope is
And health insurance? What, are you joking?, regardless
All hands to the poop deck, it's not as hard as expected
You fill out some boxes and check "no" or "yes", if you got exemptions
Or if you're married or single or—wait, why?
You DTF IRS? Damn, girl, didn't expect this
Pull that pussy out and I'ma eat it for breakfast
That's right, like a big bowl of cereal
That's right, a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios
That's right, I think I'm out of material (Yo, bye!)

[Chorus: Stamper]
Bringing truth from the booth, playa, what you gon' do?
Get your W-2 and throw it up (Throw it up)
I did my taxes, baby (Alright)
And to celebrate I'm gonna jack off in the bathtub
Filed and all done, federal, local and state (Deal)
Fat refund coming my way, and yo
When I'm jacking in the bath I'm gonna bend my wiener up as I'm cumming so I can shoot it in my face

[Outro: Stamper]
So do your taxes, kid—I did, it was on my bucket list
Just above drugging a kid and holding him down and fucking him in the butt
While he struggles around—and wait, what?
Shit, I'm just kidding, wait
(Fat, fat, fat—fat refund)
I'm not a pedophile or a rapist, I swear!
(Fat, fat, fat—fat refund)
(Fat, fat, fa—fa—fat, fat wiener)
Or am I? (I'm not)
Kids smell like cookies and butt and shit, it's fucking gross